Fly to 2013

2013! Big welcome to you! Thanks for coming into my life to start a brand new chapter. & it gives me another reason to survive, stay strong, achieve what i want and to stay healthy and happy. 2013 indeed kicked a good start that made me have the vibe to stay even stronger, to live for the people who loves me and for the people i loved :)

Time flies. my dearest cousin just got married yesterday and i am so honoured to be her Bride's Maid of Honour. We grew up together, we stayed under the same roof together, we quarrelled, we shared our stuffs together, we got scolded together and many many to be listed. We are just like blood sisters. & now, this girl had finally found her man. Blissful marriage Sharon. loves.

Believe .

past 2 days were horrible. emotions were relatively unstable. i couldnt find anyone to confide or rather i dont even know who to confide. eventually i just broke down to tears, which cant even solve anything at all. but i really dont know what to do. i dont know whether should i deserved all these that is happening now. is it me or are all these that is happening now are the so called "punishments"? how long is this "punishment" going to last?

family just made me felt worst. i just felt leftout. mum just gave me a feeling that she is putting a guard against me. of all topics, she will love to talk money with me. not talk, but scold. whatever i do will be wrong. why? how i wished i knew the answer too. seeing other people having happy family days i felt so envied. i used to have family day every sunday, but now no more. i dont even know why. bro and family together with my parents will have their own family day without me. i was unaware at all. i wasnt informed and none bother to tell me. sometimes i dont even know what is happening in this family. im just like a patron in this house. eat , sleep and out. communications has became lesser and lesser between me and the family. probably thats the main reason. however, i still insist to believe that there is still Love in the family :)

nonetheless, i received quite afew concerns from friends. some are just being plain kpo. i know who is true who is not. i've got my lesson learnt after i've got into citibank. citibank somehow or rather ruined my perspective of life. or if not, im just not being realistic enough but being too naive in the past. work is not on a smooth track. no phonecalls means no projects. no projects means no money. and pay was delayed! damn it! i had been sending resumes out, but i receive no calls/emails. sigh. by hook or by crook, i need to work by sept!

well oh wells, after so much of rants, i felt much better. i guessed it is just me. i really feel useless now. sigh,but Life Still Goes On right?!

The Kinship .

They said, 在家靠家人 ; 出外靠朋友 . I say 靠人不如靠自己. when you are at the downfall of your life, who is there to help? who is willing to help? all i heard are all excuses. forget it. not even family is there to help. yes, dad will and definitely will help. but, he already helped alot by clearing my credit bills. mum?! hahaa! dont even think of approaching her. all she knows is to say NO to everything. especially money. she is just too thrift to the extend of becoming stingy. even when im in need of money to clear my bills, dont be surprised, she will rather see you die. and she will say "you deserve it." oh well, im pretty used to it already.

yes, im at the downside of my life right now. nothing is going on a smooth track. i am just so afraid that i cant afford to pay the loans by november. i aint gonna approach daddy anymore. wondering why would i take a loan? no money? nope :) i took this loan for my mum because she needs money for her purposes and in other words, i owed her because she claimed that i didnt give her any money eversince i stepped into the society. oh wells, all the birthday treats, bags, beauty necesscities etc, i bought for her are all with my hard earned money. she is totally unaware of the loan till now. i will get killed if she gets to know.

Money, what a sensitive object on earth. not even your closest people are willing to bring you up when you're down. i am more like an outsider. i did everything on my own. i may seem that i have a happy and well-to-do family, i may seem to have anything i want, all these that i owned, are all achieved by my own hardwork. sigh, 家家有本难念的经. sometimes i wonder, am i a living thing in this family? . . .

The First of . 2012

Ages! was reviewing the past entries earlier. Reminiscence! 2012 is ending in 4 months time. &what have i done? what have i achieved? nothing. i've quit citibank for good. thus, the natural thought of going to another bank will have a better prospect. little did i know, ocbc accepted me as their personal banker. interview was hectic i swear. i was overjoyed when i got it. however, through these unemployed days, i have been reflecting: "is this what i really want?" i see no objectives, no meanings working in a bank other than "good money" so what if the money is good?! thus, i decided to give it a big miss. i know i may seem stupid to give up the good opportunity, but cant find myself a reason to accept it :)

rights, talking about money, mummy will be the first to say "no money!" oh well, im pretty used to it already. daddy was really kind enough to settle my credit card bills. first time after i graduate from school. i felt useless. however, there are still loans to settle by november. &now im unemployed. 2012 doesnt seemed to be treating me good! sigh~  all i could do now is to accept as many projects & events as possible.

was approached by Fly Entertainment to be their full-time event executive. and i have already sent my resume 2weeks ago, but still no news. Running Into The Sun called me instead. was offered as a contract staff. i agreed, but there are no news too.

2012 is ending. how time flies! i've wasted too much of my life, of not being myself. so, im going to find myself back & lead a meaningful life :)

xoxo,

Fellycia



HUAT AH! how are your cny people?! ang bao sup sup sup! hahah! mine wasnt that fantastic compared to the last time. due to ... work . freak . zZ !

Day 1 was on mc , & it was obviously on purpose. okay. day 1 was nice seeing my granny! who had been nagging me to visit her often. i felt guilty to visit her once a year eversince i stepped into the society. next was grandad! strong & healthy! of course my Cousins ! took lotsa piccas using DSLR. waiting to be loaded up. met up with BFF earlier this year, due to work. usually was day2. went River Angbao and Movie. a very well spent night! & i hope this will carry on as long as possible ((:

Day 2 ; night shift started. fuckedup. day time was v well spent with all the Loved Ones :D out for ang baos @ uncle's place. food food & more foood! gamble and laughs, half day gone! arghhh, time flies. afterwhich, gone up to D's house for visiting ((: nice seeing all his friends again! beeen ages! hahah! ahh i lost ban luck to them! tsk! i need some luck seriously. and then, it's time for work )):

Day 3 ; cabbed home after work. slpt for 2 hours and off to bai nian again! aunty irene's house for lunch and steamboat @ uncle's place before work )):

Day 4 ; cabbed home after work again. slpt for a couple of hours. BFF peishan's place for steamboat! mahjong and ban luck! finally Won abit. hahah. & off to cousin's agnes's place for steamboat before work again! & night shift was Steam-ed! )):

Day 5 ; my house! everybody came! and i was feeling so unwell, so mc-ed again. like 3days. high fever 39.5'C. nearly died.

Day 6 ; Membership Services Chinese New Year Dinner @ Sakura Buffet. Huat ahh! ;D

Day 7 ; went to doc again. temperature didnt go down. medicine changed. rested. and im well again! off to meet D and his cousin at their area. mahjong! i lost like fuck! they Scam my money! hahah! dinner and then home to rest.

Day 8 - today , home at the moment. meeting eileen love later! and BFF might come later ! D failed his bike tp again. tsk. lousy! =p

last off day tmr ; work will resume on sat till thurs consecutively. how pathetic. oh yes! cant wait for taiwan! cant wait to tender my letter after the trip , cant wait for payday, cant wait for Normal Life to be back! hope everything will come chop chop fast fast ;D

pictures are not all ready. shall post all up when all are ready. so stay tuned ~ ~ ~ !

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE PEEPS!

just back from Reunion Dinner with all my love ones @ Grand Central Hotel. incredibly bloated right now. rights, i only had like 4hrs of sleep last night. finally Big Sweep is done. as clean as i wanted. holyshit, i was scheduled CNY Day 1-7 NIGHT SHIFT. CNY Burnt! FML! thus, dad asked me to apply mc for the first 2days. and i did! so he drove me to the clinic this morning. wooohoo! bai nian bai nian! ang bao ang bao ;D

however, i really dont understand why some of my colleagues are willing to work during cny. for godsake, i hardly see my parents after i started working. timings are just super not right. when im awake, they are sleeping. when im back, they are either working or already sleeping. i forsake all the family days, gatherings, celebrations etc, just to work. & now cny, i still cant celebrate with them, i seriously cant do it. so what there will be extra allowance for working through the whole cny? family kinship is a thing that Money cant buy. i know, this is work responsibility, i truely understand. but still to me, Family still comes first. dad's been asking me to hunt for another income. perhaps it's time ): i love my collegues though ): utter dilemma. sigh~

okay! forget about all those, tmr will be 大年初一 ! im gonna see all my cousins! bak kwa & Ang Bao, Here I Come ;D

wooohooo! 3 more days to Chinese New Year! very looking foward to it everytime. not much festive feel this year, cause of work. arghh! chinatown was as usual crowded and filled with all the goodies and bak kwa. hahah! oh, have ya all bought your clothes and how's ya spring cleaning getting along?

hmm~ i had a shopping spree with my Loves today. and i spent near to 300! kill me right away pls. pedicure and manicure were done! imma happy girl today despite spending a bomb. ;D anyway, sidetrack, Taiwan trip is confirmed! im gonna fly with Loves in a month's time! excited , sexcited , eggcited! double happiness! to add on to the happiness, something good to hear had finally came to my ears ((: you know i know lah girls! heheh. alright, spring cleaning was half done. mummy is screaming at her top like almost every single day. no time no time! gonna get it done by tomorrow. and work's gonna happened for the next 2 days and then off on the eve for reunion dinner and BFF meet up before tiger runs away! hahah!

alrights, time for bed. gonna wake up early for Big Sweep later!

& my maid better get ready help. tsk! okays, nights world ((: