Reflect .

i reflected on myself this morning , when i was still lazing on my comfy bed . i dont know why i'll do that , but several thoughts just came into my mind like that . to think of that , hope i'll be more sensible , appreciative and make the right decisions in future .

20 years of life , i'm working hard to pursue my desired goal in life . but it seems hard to . with my useless O'level cert and ITE cert , there's no where i can go . although i'm studying diploma now , hoping that i can get into the university as soon as possible . but , i see not much future in me . i really dont wish to disappoint my parents anymore . thus , i promised them , i'll wear that 'square hat' proudly .

i know many of my relatives , those aunties and uncles , are saying some bad stuffs about me . thinking that im super rebellious , went out late and came back late . thinking that all my friends are the same as me or even worst . oh , whatever they think , i dont care . as long as my conscience is clear and my parents trust me , thats good enough . luckily i still have my lovely cousins (:

i love my family . they are always the ones supporting behind me . although i might me rude at times . their nags and ways of disciplines are really driving me crazy . but afterall , i know they cared for me . so i shouldnt grumble so much . they are always the reason , that i shouldnt give up on myself (:

friends are like my pillar of strengths and happiness . without my friends , i think i'll go bonkers . they are always the ones enjoying happy times with me , and some spending the bad times with me . they'll definitely be there when i need them . although there might be some quarrels , but eventually ,we'll be friends back again or even a better friend (:

i dont know why am i like this , i'm aint expressive to people and all . other than my anger and happiness , none is out . i was wondering , should i tell you how i feel ? many told me i should , but i just dont dare . i really dont know why . maybe this is my point of weakness and chances always slipped away like this .

anyway , was with Justin last night . bought a birthday cake for Petrina . a very small birthday celebraion for her somewhere around sengkang . a super belate one . hope she is happy yea ! infact , she Must be happy . cause this was my first time celebrating her birthday , with her . haha ! saw this road sign on the ground while walking back home with Justin . and this was what we did . LOLS !

and finally today , school was fun ! lots of interactions with my classmates . there was Debating and Q & A sessions . and all the questions and anwers were so stupid and funny . lols . alrights , im super duber broke now . can god please throw some money down ? yea , it's HOLIDAY tomorrow !

rights ~ videos for now , tatas !

Bestfriend ?

' It hurts badly . ' then what about me ? dont i hurt badly too ? not only badly , but it's damn fucking badly . dumb of me to read your post which i shouldnt do so . i haven been going to your site for very long . and what you said in your post really pierced me deep hard . i thought things are going a lil better than before . and heaven knows , it's all going on my own will . infact , things are going worst than usual . i really wondered , what am i to you actually ? a bestfriend ? or just a someone whom you will find when you are bored ? have you ever thought of such questions ? i doubt so . can i not just only be your ' bestfriend ' ? now i finally realised , everything is only on one side . i am the dumb-est idiot ever .

Contented .

so fast . wonderful weekend has ended . happy and fun times always pass faster than whatever times you are leading . tomorrow again , is the start of a new week . which is a Big Sian Day to everyone . monday blues . oh wells , its monday blues for sure ):

Ivonn came to stay over on friday night . hahas ! obviously we slept in wee hours . yeps , it's super late . like 4+am . lols . talked lotsa craps , girls' stuffs and of course gossips ! hahas !

towned with her the next day , saturday . finally she had a day off from hui guan . and it's like she managed to get rid of her old 'toy' phone . yes , she heeded my advice and took that nice , with good functions and user friendly phone . shopped around and we both got ourselves lotsa stuffs ! and the great thing is , we spent damn damn LOTS ! kill me man ! i gonna starve for the next few weeks ):

her old 'toy' phone

met Darren after that and headed to TopOne Ktv with his friend . sing . sing . sing ! hahas ! fun night though his friend fell asleep halfway . Darren and i were like having our own concert . lols . sang all the way to 5 in the morning and had macdonald's breakfast before he sent me home (:

met Ivonn again , today , after her dance . bugis , to buy her shoes and our dinner . went town and then kovan to spend our time . and she just left my house . yeps , gonna see her very soon again (: hell yea , please mark my day a good one tomorrow . school's at 9am tomorrow . damn shit !

yea , I'm glad that , that lil thing did cheer you up , so much . really makes me superbly happy to see you this way . at least my hard work does pay off (:

26 Sept : Happy Birthday , Dearest Melissa xiao jie <3

Rehab .

tired ! i need sufficient rest and sleep . but i dont seem to have enough . Hellos panda eyes , can you like go away ? ): i will always get a lil cranky when I dont get enough sleep . and needless to say , when im sick , it's even worst . feeling slightly better already . maybe it's because , weekends are coming ! im so so looking forward to it ! oh mans , im so gonna sing out loud when Darren is out from camp ! as he promised to go sing with me when he book out . YAY !! :D im yearning to sing badly though . hahas ~ ya , Valerie , dont worry , i wont forget about you (:

this morning was at chinatown with my 2 girls again . for the super delicious egg tarts and other pastries . hahas ! bought liang teh to cool my body heatiness , if not , i wanna feel like dying anytime . yea , school-ed after that . reached at 130 when the class supposed to start at 2 . nothing , but talk lots of stupid stuffs before the start . oh ya , Jia Feng's gonna get married soon next year ! wooo ~ felt so blissed and happy for her . and majority of our time in class was discussing about marriage rather than paying attention to the lecture . hahas ! was kinda interesting though :D

watched 蓝球火 just now . the story is getting more and more interesting ! although some of you think might it's stupid . but wells , IM SHOW'S SUPER FAN ! i cant miss this show you know ?! hahas . rights ~ gonna hibernate myself now . if not i wont get to recover soon . (:

SICK .

my body aint getting any betta . infact , it's getting worser . fever came up just now . flu , headache and giddy . no appetite at all . ate nothing for dinner but just a cup of cereal . none was at home except me . well , just hope i dont collapse at anytime ):

was at town with HuiLing and Peggy after school . accompanied HuiLing to hunt for her heels . spotted this -rather . cool- bread at breadtalk . hahas ! smart design to accomodate the F1 Craze coming up this weekend !

cool eh ?!

yeps ~ gotta watch some videos before bed . ciaos !

Holyshit !! i'm sick . can i just stop sneezing for goodness sake ? my nose is like gonna drop at anytime . feeling nauseous too .body feeling kinda weak . please let me recover fast . so that i can go out this weekend ! God Bless .

first of all , deeply apologised to Clarence . for not turning up at the basketball session the last minute . anyway , Justin came over last night . as my mama promised to teach him how to make paper roses . yea , obviously he is making for his beloved girlfriend . hahas . so sweet right ? this was my first time seeing him so serious . okie , back to the point . i learned how to make those roses as well . in case he forgotten the steps , at least im there to be his live demo -.- while mama goes to sleep . alrights peeps , it's freaking hard to make those roses okie . although they looked easy . did umpteen trials and we finally made it . by then , it was already dawn . and i did 1 all on my own while he did 12 of it ! hahas . and yea Justin , you owe me a big treat !

gonna be a long entry i guess ?

wells , another boring day today . cleaned and tidied my room to kill my boredem . hahas . did that for nearly 4 hours ? hahas. i love my room now ! was back from dinner with my family awhile ago . Daddy has quitted his 10 over years job . due to some political conflicts . i can see that he is damn sad now , especially when he returned the company's car to the office just now . he hasn't been talking much after dinner ): im so worried . so do mama . now that he is jobless , no more income to my family at the moment , i really got to buck up , study hard , work more often and spend less . Daddy , look on the bright side ! look for other betta jobs ! u can do it (:

anyway , Daddy just bought a new car yesterday . weee ~ and mama's shop gonna open this coming october . hopefully its a brand new start for my both lovely parents (:

yeps , someone asked me to define the term 'Best Friend' and 'True Friend' a few days ago . i stumbled . can anyone define ? what are best friend and true friend actually ? what are the difference ? i guess no one can . why must friends be catagorised under so many types ? this question really gave me a second thought .

perhaps i might not be the one you are looking for . cause i'm so much different from her . and i knew it . but , im sad to say , i'm sorry . cause i wont change the way i are because of her . people just like the way i am and so do myself . it's meaningless to change into a 'someone' that totally resembles her . it really hurts to see you always getting sad over her . what about me ? have you ever thought of it ? i really doubt so . all you care about is her and no one else . i really dont know what else can i do anymore , but just to stand by you , and comfort you with my words . and hoping that you'll feel better after that . perhaps this is my karma . as what comes around , goes around . i didnt know how to appreciate the last time . but afterall , i just wanna say , i'll be right here when your world starts to fall . hopefully you'll be aware someday (:

although its kinda disappointing , cause i didnt get to catch the movie i wanna watch last night , but yea , at least i still made full use of the night , healthily and wisely . so it was still alright anyway (:

oh wells , i was so damn fucking bored today ! rot , rot and still rot . what a lousy saturday i have ): poor Darren was feeling unwell ): hope he is alright now . take great care okie mr Darren ! yeppie !! Kok Chuan suggested to have prata later at night ! hopefully its on ! alright ! gotta go for dinner with my family already ! tata !

Felicia is a goodie goodie girl today :D school and home . went school with HuiLing . late as usual . did some exercises for accounting and class was dismissed . no one was at home just now . i was all alone . spending time alone at home was so great ! although its a friday night & everyone was having fun out there . but , i gonna give myself a break and stay at home . pamper myself with some beauty masks , online , tv-ee , musics , food and other healthy activities (: oh yea , i needa exercise more . im feeling super sinful with the snickers i ate just now and those suppers previously ): Yea ~ its weekend again ! no plans at the moment , but hopefully there is tomorrow !

Thanks for making my everyday with all your messages (:

disappointment . i Failed my FTT ): i didnt prepare well enough i guess . i'll make sure i'll pass the next time . cause Darren said i'll pass for the next round . HAHA ! hmm ~ i didnt play truant today . cause i went for my FTT and driving practical , which is totally a valid reason for not going to school just now . met dearest Julin at tampines mall after everything . & yea , i miss tampines mall . it reminds me of my ITE days , where me and my khakis used to hang around either after school , skipped lessons or having our long breaks . hahas . alrights , back to the main point ; had sakae sushi for dinner . considered sumptuous for me . coz i Love japanese food (: shopped around for Julin's cardigan . & we had a short chilled out @ the starbucks . woo ~ its starbucks again . starbucks sessions with my cousins & friends were missed badly . Valerie , lets have starbucks session soon okay ?! yeps ~ home-ed with bus 27 .

i LOVE the way we are now . but will this carry on for long ? i doubt so ):

can anyone stop me from skipping school ? DARN , i skipped school today AGAIN . gosh !! was supposed to go school just now , and all thanks to HuiLing's influence . Peggy and i didnt go in the end . zZ `


met HuiLing & Peggy for lunch @ bugis in the afternoon . shopped around with Peggy while HuiLing went to meet her friend . received a call from Justin while im on my way back to sengkang . and i got down @ kovan . accompanied him to buy some stuffs and dinner-ed at kobayashi . missed out today's Ladies Night @ Phuture as was planned to go initially . instead , went to meet Clarence . Liang Zhi and their friend , Ying Ying @ buangkok after dinner . played basketball . FUN :D

them and their opponents .

i've learned something yesterday . YES , Felicia has learned not to talk cock at every time . people might treat me as an entertainer which i Hate to be treated like one . im not born to entertain u people alrights ? people might think that im childish . okay kids , Felicia AIN'T childish as what u kids think alrights ! stop all that shits . people might think that im always not serious when im actually very serious . so yea , i'll stop all my nonsense from now on . dont find me unfriendly in future . get this clear okie kids . & yea , one more important thing i've learned is ; to appreciate things more and at the right time . i dont wish to have anymore regrets .



Final Theory tomorrow . hope i'll pass . God Bless (:

yes people , i went to school today ! although im super lazy to do so . headed to school with HuiLing & ran off during break time . hahas ! thats atrocious i know . bus-ed down to vivo with her . walked around before goin back to sengkang . met Gilbert @ comapss point for dinner . & yea , that was his treat ! he owed me yesterday . that stupid aunty Peggy was absent from school today . hopefully she wont turn blind with her serious sore eyes . if not she will get to miss me alot . hahas ! nahs ~ hope she is alright with her eyes la . fast fast heal your eyes la aunty Peggy !

omfg ~ i felt so guilty for not going to school . i skipped school again . zZ ! im just so lazy to travel . okies , i gotta remind myself everyday , to go to school . i dun wanna get barred from exams man . i had enough in ITE . lols !

rights , skipped school today . accompany mama in da morning . for her regular health check . YES ! mama is as healthy as ever ! met Darren at the later part of the day . coz he managed to book out for like half a day . YAY !! hahas . accompanied him to town . shopped around to look for his stupid shoes . & in the end he went empty handed again -.- played pool . & i lost almost every match . coz that ass was a lousy teacher . he only taught me abit which i dun think is enough for me to win him . lols ! dinner-ed @ pizzahut . met Justin around serangoon after Darren went back to camp . yeps . 100 years didnt see that stupid Justin already . had some chats and home .

alrights . gotta tuck in now . school tmr (:

played basketball with that short and fat Clarence . at buangkok just now . and we discontinue the game bcoz of the stupid rain -.-


super lazy mood to go school recently . dont know why . but i still go anyway . for the sake of my attendance . yes , projects are piling up again . & soon im gonna be a zombie again . cam-whored with my 2 stupid girls while going back home from school on friday . they always make my day in school . hahas !

Saturday - Valerie came to have a stay-over on friday night . chatted lots , lots and lots . she's the only girl whom i can tell everything . thank you . Loves . supper @ chomp chomp with my dearest HuiMin & Valerie before that . met Darren for the day . and yeps , enjoyed . at least i wont get to rot at home on a saturday . town . shopping . wandering . clubbing @ Mos (: supposed to celebrate lantern festival with my family . didnt turn up in the end . & Darren sent me home @ 6+am .

i totally have no mood to do anything now . i may be a happy pie in front of you . coz i'll always find all ways to stop you from being emo . of all things u told me . regardless of ur life , your deeds for the day or about that someone , i'll be there listening . & today , thanks for telling me what you had done . which utterly makes my tears rolled down uncontrollably .

slpt @ 4am last night . was having a short chill out @ jalan kayu with Gilbert , that road idiot . as usual , no direction sense . drove to the wrong place and finally got it right at last . before that was dinner with Ivonn after school @ bugis . & i was suay enough to bump onto that pig trotter for 2 consecutive days -.- . had a mini celebration or rather a meet up on tuesday night with Pei Hui as her birthday was around the corner . @ chomp chomp . cabbed home @ 2am (:

decided to give school a missed today . simply lazy & some other reason . mama is sick . just nice i can accompany her . everything is just so Mixed Up now . waiting for nothing ?!

rights ~ gonna post some while waiting for 篮球火 to load .

Holidays ended . back to school today . lazy mode . met HuiLing & Peggy for tau huey @ serangoon before school . today's subject was F&B . yes , it's Food & Beverage . holyshit ! lecturer was an italian . i was like literally dont understand what is he talking about during lecture . same goes for my cliques . bcoz of his super strong italian accent . omfg . hope i can survive and pass this module as time goes . nothing much . headed to town with HuiLing for awhile after school . and backed home for dinner (:

damn tired . eyelids are damn heavy . okays , it's SHOW time (:

so tired . tired of thinking such issue . it has been a long long time since it happened to me . & it happened at this time . which is a total wrong time . i'm just a weirdo as what Valerie always described . & i totally agreed now . i dont know how i am feeling now . it's just not right . gotta go for a run now . maybe it helps (hopefully)

For once , i took you for granted .

i dont appreciate what you've done .

you are always there ,

whereva i am ,

& look after me .

yet , i even hate you to the core .

& now , when i finally realised everything ,

everything is too late .

Thanks Clarence short , for accompanying me always when i'm so fucking down . especially just now . & finally let u saw my super unglam look with the tears all over . & of coz , Pei Shan bestie never failed to be with me too . thanks so much my lovess (:

i've got no idea what to do next ):

and to add on , whats wrong with tonight ? why is the whole world going clubbing today , and it's WITHOUT me ?!

as usual , it is raining now . monsoon season ? holidays gonna end damn soon . im goin back to school next week ): anyway . got this Subcrew Mesh Cap for darren , as his birthday gift [although his birthday was like months ago . hahas] . cap was from zembia.com . and finally arrived this morning by post . didnt expect it to arrive within 2 days . efficient ! alrights ~ gotta prepare myself now . meeting Pei Shan for dinner & some shoppings later ! tatas !!

Gosh ! im so gluttony these days . eat & eat non-stop ! be it junk food . desserts . proper meals . i'll just feel like eating them . & stupid Clarence , stop telling me 'Eat Only' alrights ?! asshole !! and i realised , i tend to eat alot when im feeling down . damn . this is a super bad habit . shits . this seriously cant carry on . if not i'll turn into a big fat pig soon ! CONTROL !!

SENTOSA today ! despite of the rainy season recently . the weather indeed never disappoint us (: a long day . with Pei Shan . Palawan Beach . sat down . chats . relax . music . with the fine sand . sea and the waves . and finally i saw my skin was slightly tann-ed . okie , my 1st ride on the skyride . fun la . hanging ur feet in the air . didnt get to play the luge . but i hope i'll get to play it some other time . home-ed after dinner @ vivo . it was just a lazy afternoon for us (:

great , my whole body is aching . overwhelm-ed exercise . this shows how long i didnt exercise already . especially the hamstring and the abdomen . they are aching like mad now .

anyway , back to the main point , yesterday was with Valerie in the afternoon . town-ed . wandering around . and her boyf and his frens treated us dinner @ Billy Bombers . however , i believed that there's not Free Lunch in this world . i dont even know them . i dont think its right to get treats from unknowns . furthermore , i dont wish to get any closer or be frens with them . thus , i paid for mine portion . back-ed home to change before i met Clarence @ buangkok at the later part of the night . chats & basketball . its like damn long since i last touched the ball . indeed a stress relieve after playing . thanks man 'Foreva Bro' . lols . home-ed at 2am (:

perhaps i should become what i'm used to be . cause the current me is not what people used to know .

the quality time & conversations we spent , are getting shorter . perhaps i shouldnt be so persistent right from the start . infact it has never started before & im ending it now .